On my recent 11 day tour through Victoria. One of the topics I taught was ‘Hormones and the Heart’. Then on the way home I was listening to Vision Australia Radio and this chap was talking about two negative emotions that affect the heart. Jealousy and Shame. He talked about how these emotions can adversely affect the health of the heart as they are both related to stress. Jealousy is related to something you have, but you want something or someone else. This negative emotion is ‘other focus’.
Shame is related to something you own or did so it is related to ‘self focus’. Either way they both may contribute to unhealthy heart conditions through stress. In an article written in The Art Of Healing Magazine by Diana Rose Kottle on ‘The Art of Healing our Toxic Emotions’ she writes:
Shame is one of those taboo topics whose discussion is usually avoided at all costs. The things that make us feel shame may actually be some of the least comfortable things to talk about… ever.
I used to feel that I would rather die than talk about ‘my shame’. It felt shameful to even identify with feeling shame. And when that feeling got triggered, it not only felt like everyone around me could see the scarlet shame story – and the crimson fear I carried around with it – but also that they were also judging me harshly for it. This only added potent lighter fuel to the already-toxic emotional cauldron of fiery feelings, creating an even bigger swirling downward shame spiral in me.
The shame voice in my head — which had an anxious fear-based quality to its tone — would create whole stories and entire scenarios around things that were not even happening, outside of my mind. Yet the feeling in my body was one of terror, pain and collapse, as if the ‘shame fantasy’, the shame filled illusions my mind was creating, were the most ‘real’ thing on the planet. I felt completely exposed and naked; I felt ashamed of my shame. Can you relate to this?
Wouldn’t it be great to have a session with someone that could give you the space to talk through this? Why I say this is because recently a person died of a ‘Heart Attack’ and the arterial wall was only 30% occluded (stuffed) so there was no physical sign of a heart attack. Could our negative Emotions be killing us????????
Diane goes on to say “Facing your shame head on will eventually allow you to see it for the distortion that it is. We do not have to water or cultivate our toxic emotions with more toxic emotions (fear, anxiety, worry, anger, embarrassment, guilt); we can decide to simply remove whichever weeds from our garden we choose.
And we can even stop viewing shame and fear as the enemy and choose to have compassion for the deeply insecure, hurt and wounded parts of ourselves that hold and carry these toxic emotions around.
Exposing your light, shining your authentic truth, and choosing love, will alchemise the fear, transmuting the darkness, setting you free an liberating you from the stifling shadow of shame.
When we speak about what we are ashamed of, and when we face our fears directly, we shed light on the very things that keep us bound in knots, paralysed and internally crippled. Sharing our shame (with people we trust) lightens the burden we carry and connects us to the light.
You can get your copy of ‘The Art of Healing Magazine’ at www.theartofhealing.com.au