I have been coaching many clients lately and the one underlying behaviour is ‘The Lack of Confidence’. So I thought I would address some of the issues here.
Why Confidence? I love this quote from Stephen Bowe wrote:
“God’s Gift to you is more talent and ability
Than you can use in your lifetime
Your gift is to the Universe is to use as much
Of your talent and ability as you can
In your lifetime”
If our confidence is low we cannot achieve what we want to achieve. Most people want to be self-reliant and assured. They want to feel confident and competent and sure of themselves. They want to get the best results possible. They want to feel good about themselves.
What is Self- Esteem? Confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect, self-regard, pride in oneself, self-confidence, confidence, self-assurance, assurance. Our entire life revolves around images. Every car, business, shopping centre, school bags, toys etc. all have their own image. That image will attract you or turn you away from it. It is no different with us.
Bob Proctor says “Science and Psychology have isolated the one prime cause for success or failure in life. It is the hidden self-image that you have of yourself”. So your Self-Image controls you, your mind, your beliefs and therefore all of your results. It is built up from genetics, past experiences, copied behaviour, comments, successes and failures.
The one thing I learnt years ago is that you cannot out-perform your own self-image. Your results in your life are directly linked to your self-image and how you feel about you. So, the minute you begin to feel better about who you are, the more you can accomplish, and the more you may influence others to do the same.
So what’s going on? Why do a great number of children and adults lack confidence? There could be various reasons for this including:
- Experiences growing up. There may have been an experience or many experiences that you’ve had in your life growing up. The messages that these experiences have given you may not have been perceived as very positive about the kind of person you are. If your experiences have been negative, your beliefs about yourself are likely to be negative too.
- Copied stress or negative self-image from a parent, sibling, grandparent, or carer. Children are the best at copying behaviour so who or what were they copying in your household?
- Failing to ‘fit in’ with the peer group and may feel as if they are the odd one out.
- Failing to meet parental or family standards.
- Lacking in the skills to perform the tasks given to them
- A lack of praise, love, positivity or compliments at home or at school
- A lack of self-worth or self-belief.
- A one-time significant event that became image destroying or took away their confidence.
Various times where they feel like they ‘don’t deserve’ and/or don’t feel good enough’. These are the top two limiting beliefs in people all around the world.
If you would like to clear these limiting beliefs I have one day workshops here in Sydney and in Adelaide soon. Contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org to book yourself in.