written by Lynda Dyer specifically for being published in Rural Women
What an interesting topic this is. Why confidence? What does it feel like to be confident? I would imagine this has so many variables. Confidence to one person could be taking their first step while confidence to someone else is flying.
When I was a young girl living on an orchard I really wanted to play tennis. Yvonne Goolagong was my idle. She played tennis at Wimbledon. How did she become so confident as an Aboriginal and as a woman? I believe it was what she focused on. She only focused on winning her tennis matches and not why she shouldn’t. She did not let her circumstances get in the way of who she wanted to become or what she wanted to achieve.
I think she taught us all a great lesson. We can choose to use circumstances to stop us from achieving OR we can use circumstances to make it happen for us. What are you doing? The irony here is that either way, it takes the same amount of energy to focus on what you can’t do as it does to focus on what you can do. I learnt to say ‘next’ when any thoughts of negativity would enter my head so I only use my energy to achieve what I want to achieve. This action brings a sense of confidence to your everyday life.
Once I knew how to use this confidence I have achieved so much more in my life. It’s like a knowing. Knowing that it’s ok to give it a go, whatever it is you want to do, and if it doesn’t quite work out then we will learn what not to do next time. There is winning and there is learning….no failures.
I have taken choosing confidence to a whole new level after testing it out in so many situations. Here are some examples I wrote about in my latest book ‘You Can Make it Happen Now’ which became an International Best Selling Book and won ‘The Humanitarian Award’ for the work I did in China and Africa.
- After missing out on getting into University after completing school, I worked four jobs for four years to put myself through University and now have a Masters Degree
- I hitchhiked across the Canadian Rockies at minus 35 to do my practical experience to complete my degrees
- A man gave me his ticket to England so I dressed up as a man and went to England to find my Dad’s family. He lost them during the war. I found them and reunited him with his family as a Christmas present.
- I opened up a University and a Hospital to the public to promote ‘Wellness’ changing the face of Hospitals as ‘sick houses’. I won an Outstanding Young Australian award for this work. It created a million dollar business in wellness for the hospital.
- I set up my own business in Fitness and Health and studied the body for 9 years, curing myself of Lupus. I lectured all around Australia in Health and Fitness
- I worked in the prisons while lecturing at TAFE in Health, Recreation and Fitness. Every prisoner was given an ‘A’ at the beginning of the course and had to work hard in theory and practical to keep it. They all kept their ‘A’.
- In May 2008 I flew into China on the day of the earthquake and knew I was there to help. I do not speak a work of Chinese but I managed to get a friend to translate my book on ‘Good Grief’ into Chinese and distribute it throughout the earthquake zone
- I recently went to Uganda and sponsored a village with a friend. This village was one of the poorest and is now on its way to achieving self-sustainability.
I do not write this to boast, but to share with you that when you choose confidence you choose a life that is filled with everything you want in it rather than what you wished you had done.
Joel Bowe said ‘God’s gift to you is more talent and ability than you will ever use in your lifetime. Your gift is to use as much of that talent and ability that you can in your life time’.
I just asked a friend, Alison Gatt, to give me some ideas on this title of Choosing Confidence and this is what she wrote….”Everyday we make choices, as a great lady taught me we choose what does and doesn’t affect us. We can choose to put on our big girl pants and stride in confidently or spend our lives on the sidelines living in fear, wondering what if. Why wouldn’t we (I) be confident. I’m being authentic, I’m being ‘me’ and at the end of the day that’s all we can be-ourselves. It’s what we do best, what comes naturally. AND… For what it’s worth…Choosing confidence is just like stepping outside our comfort zone, each time we did it, even a little, it gets easier. At some point we have all been through a broken relationship, fallen off a bike or a horse, failed an exam, or lost a job. We have felt low in confidence but we didn’t stay there. We moved on. We chose confidence. We went on another date, went for a job interview, climbed back on the damn bike or horse, studied for our next exam. Everyday in a small way we choose confidence, we just need to build on that.”
The Universe wants you to be the best you can be. By choosing confidence you can contribute far more affectively and it takes the same energy as choosing fear. Give it a go. It’s your choice.